I’m going to write about my personal life today. I’m just about to celebrate my first year anniversary year with my partner Mark. It is a really good relationship built on shared values and friendship. We moved in together in October and all is well.
About 3 weeks ago Mark came down with bronchitis that worsened into pneumonia just before Thanksgiving. Just as he began to heal, my back went OUT and I couldn’t even stand up for a few days. And then I came down with what he had. I’m finally getting better with antibiotics and bed rest.
Now Mark is not a guy who withholds love. I have never known anyone who is more consistent in word and action to show his love and appreciation for me. But since we’ve been sick, though sleeping in the same bed, our physical intimacy has been very limited. We’ve both been trying not to make one another sick.
So the last few days I’ve been wondering if he still loves me as much. I ask him and he reassures me generously. What I realized this morning is that one of the ways that I communicate and receive love is through physical touch…holding one another, cuddling in bed, etc. Since that has been mostly unavailable for a few weeks, I begin to feel less connected to my partner and fear he is less connected to me.
This is the importance of touch in a conversation about well being. We need to be touched generously. Just being deprived of touch in a relationship that is kind, generous and communicative still has rattled my sense of security and well being.
It felt good to tell Mark about it this morning. As usual, he understood and told me he misses it too. He’s such a good man.